Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Hacker Revealed

Revered 24 character Tony Almeida is in custody today after a Division-subsidized task force led by his wife Michelle Dessler determined that he caused the security breach to Whelanpedia. Also recovered from the scene were all 69 episodes of ABC's melodramatic show "Lost." These were promptly posted on YouTube and  prior to his imprisonment and escape J Berry Topp assured us that they would be added to Bittorrent as soon as his Torrent of Air Bud 2 finished seeding. As his whereabouts are unknown, this remains to be seen.

The mission to recover Tony began with a surprise raid by the MUN Air Force under the command of Lt. Col. Zlex Whelan, no longer the high-ranking officer he once was in the MUNAF yet due to his appearance on the scene was quickly given the reins of the operation. Following the destruction of his Ethernet and LAN connections, The Navy Seals under Admiral Eric Van Bueno secretly formed a perimeter which of course would have held if necessary. Scott Van Bueno led the ground operation and following the extraction Almeida was taken to the USS David Palmer’s Ghost for debrief. Then came the discovery of two moles inside of CTU working for the Chinese, Mcdeez0rz and Nataliu. It is believed that these two are working for the mercenary Mandy though that detail has yet to be confirmed. One episode later, it was revealed that Woonizzle was the mastermind of the entire plot. He was stripped of his Costco Executive card and sentenced to two months without zero hour.
For their heroic actions, the field teams were all given the opportunity to meet legend Jack Bauer. The incident is mirrored with unknowns however because Bauer arrived the location and promptly stated “Damnit. We’re out of time. Where is the bomb,” to a cooler. Bauer then proceeded to interrogate the cooler, which was later revealed to be that of the Science Club. Its current location is unknown, though experts speculate it is currently hidden in the Muffin Mounds of SL 100. MUN headquarters is currently working in conjunction with CTU to locate the cooler, however it taking quite sometime as South America is a vast place and there are only 0 choppers available.

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